Restraints

As the shibari style of rope bondage becomes more and more popular, with its ability to create visually stunning designs, and intricate patterns, quite a number of minimalist have shown their fondness for bondage by returning to simpler roots. Foregoing the ropes they have in their collections, for the efficiency and effectiveness resulting from the usage of other restraint systems during play time. These physical restraints provide a beauty all their own, take no time to set up, and offer users the ability to immerse themselves in their fetish, especially so when coupled with blindfolds and ball gags.

From beginner to expert, the inexperienced and the adept can both benefit from the consistency and the effortless quickness of body restraints. As history advances, the techniques and designs of restraint devices advances as well. From, simple loops in nylon rope, to silk sashes, and fur and leather cuffs; the versatility of restraints has greatly distanced itself from the hardcore method of handcuffing, even though a good cuffing never gets old.

Easy to use and set up, there are a number of free standing bondage support systems; prepared so that they are easily set up, slipped on, adjusted, and simple to lock into place.  Some go under your mattress and can remain there. Many of these under the bed sets are easy to keep hidden, with removable cuffs, or lashes which can tuck right under your bed.

There are certain restraint systems which bind the limbs close together, and others which keep the limbs spread apart. To bind together, or to separate? Maybe keep just the wrist bound, with a ball gag, for good measure? Maybe just the ankles bound in a sash, or possibly, Restraint Wrap? You retain the option to bind two limbs, or more, whether they’re near or far. From the sheer delight of Self Bondage, to all of the naughty intricacies of couples play, the possibilities for variety and expressiveness begin the moment you get your Gear, and the fun never ends.

Whether you’re using a premade kit, such as a hogtie kit, or an under the bed system, let us not forget the sensuality which is rope. While some forgo rope due to practicality, or safety concerns, mastering the art of tying knots in rope takes practice and creativity once you’ve stepped away from pre constructed template. .  If you’re using silk, nylon, jute, or cotton, the fascination with being bound, or binding, by rope, sash, or tape is in the preparation. And preparation is key.

If you look up rope bondage how-tos, or nearly any bondage method for the matter, you’ll find articles depicting the human nervous and circulatory systems. The information usually contains a myriad of details about the nerves and veins, and how cutting off is to be avoided; also showing how to do so properly, while maintaining many aesthetics. They’ll also tell you to keep a pair of Safety Scissors handy in case of instances in which the bindings need to be quickly removed.

Studying adult works such as the shibari, and mulling over article after article, detailing the vast bound position possibilities, may not be fore you. Maybe you've done all of the research and you’re ready for a bit of fun? Couples can bond over adult games while bondage is on their mind. Bondage Seduction is a game in which you can tell your friends who wanted to hang out later, that you’re, “tied up”.

But What if you’re trying to skip the knots, and the, well, restraints, of the restraining systems? While there are some limitations with rope, or pre-made systems, Pleasure tape provides a remarkably easy approach to decorative bondage. These wraps, like their rope cousins, come in a wide variety of colors, and they also add a sleek sexiness to the practicing of bondage, and they look even more enticing when against bondage furniture. Whether for play, pleasure, punishment, training, or something else, you’re bound (get it?) to have an excellent time mastering your new fantasy. 

Penis Pumps

So many men are looking for that edge over the competition.  Like the six-million dollar man, he wants to be better, stronger, faster… and bigger!  And then there was the advent of the enlargement pump.  Penis pumps, or, enlargement pumps, all work on the same principle.  The penis is inserted into a vacuum chamber that seals against the man’s pelvis.  Vacuum is applied, creating a pressure differential between the blood in the penis and the outside atmosphere.  The blood vessels expand, allowing more blood into the penis.  And blood in the penis, as we all know, is what makes a man big and hard.  The theory behind vacuum pumps is simply this:  More blood = more penis.  The effect is temporary, but impressive.

Enhancement pumps usually consist of an acrylic tube and a hand pump or electric pump.  The Acrylic tube will the vacuum tube on one end, and often some sort of rubber or silicone sleeve (or ring) on the open end. The sleeve is used to create a seal against the body. Recently, these sleeves have been modified to take on an anatomical resemblance  Some pumps will also have a vacuum gauge that allows you to monitor the pressure being applied to your member.  And all pumps will have a pressure releif valve.  Some tubes will also have graduated hash marks, allowing the user to monitor the growth of their penis.  A few pumps are coming equipped with massagers to give an added element of stimulation to the experience.  Some pumps are designed for shower use, and can also be used with a hands-free harness.

Although mostly thought of as an enhancement device, penis pumps are an easy, non-invasive treatment for erectile dysfunction.  The vacuum is activated via hand or electric pump, then a constriction band is applied at the base of the penis (similar to a cock ring) to keep the blood from flowing back out of the penis. In the medical field they are often referred to as “vacuum constriction devices”.   Many urologists will recommend them when good ‘ol Viagra is ineffective. 

Please be careful when using a pump.  Always keep moderation in mind.  Excessive vacuum and/or prolonged use can cause serious vascular damage to your penis.  Also, if you ever use a cock ring with your pump, be careful to NOT use a metal cock ring.  The penis can often swell and the ring may have to be cut off.  And nobody wants that.

Many pumps can be accessorized with some interesting options.  And don’t forget your toy cleaner.

Men’s Underwear

Often times we men overlook some of the softer luxuries in life.  And, as far as I’m concerned, “silky underbritches” is due for some serious contemplation.  Yeah, yeah.  We’re too manly to talk about underwear.  “I’m a real man and only wear burlap… like my daddy before me.”  Not me, baby.  “Give me something fun under my business suit”, that’s what I say!

Men’s wear can be classified in four different categories: Lounge wear, Boxers, Briefs, and Thongs/pouches.  All of which come in handy for just the right purpose.

I’m more of a boxer man, myself.  I like the comfort and roominess.  Briefs are great for when I’m more active.  I must admit, though, I’m a bit reluctant to strap on nuthin’ but a pouch.  I keep my car and house fully insured, and I guess I feel the same way about my bits and pieces.  There is another benefit of the roominess of a good boxer.  Every now and then it’s nice to find someone’s hand rummaging around under your waistband.  It’s good to have space for them to explore, dont'cha know.

The bikini brief runs the gambit from good coverage to bad, bad play time!  Want something uncommon?  Check out Foxy’s Stretch Lace Wonder Bikini from Male Power.  Polyester and Spandex, machine washable, partner “wow”able! Show up with a pair of these on and you’re going home with a prize.

And my favorite is the marriage of boxers and briefs, the Boxer Brief.  The security of a brief with the leg length of a boxer gives me both comfort and security.  And the longer leg keeps the fabric from bunching up in places we don’t want it to go.  Nothing classier than picking a wad of cotton out of your crack in the middle of a cocktail party or sales call, eh?  The boxer brief fixes that little problem right up.

I must sing the praises of a pair of nice loungers.  Just the right thing for a long weekend “staying in” with the little lady.  Just slip them on, pad down to the kitchen for a cup of coffee and a quick peek out the door for the Sunday paper, and back up for Sudoku and snuggling.

Talk about breathability, the mesh pouch by Adonis leaves little to the imagination… and much to the breeze.  Designed more for show than utility, it serves its purpose quite impressively.  Drop your robe with one of these little strips of cloth winking in the candlelight, and your partner won’t be able to keep her/his hands off of you.  Champaign not included.

Are you into saving the planet?  Foxy’s Toybox offers an impressive line of bamboo lounge pants, boxers, briefs, t-shirts and thongs.  They are a blend of 95% sustainable bamboo and 5% spandex.  Comfort, reliability, and ecological maturity… You gotta love it!

Dance Poles

In the last few years we’ve come a long way accepting different forms of bedroom play as “normal” or “ordinary”.   Where they were considered taboo or kink not so long ago, they are slowly moving toward mainstream acceptance.  I’ve heard flippant jokes about BDSM on prime-time comedy shows seen platform “dancer” shoes at the neighborhood pub; edgy tattoos and piercings at the DMV.  Kink has finally become commonplace.

 And one of the most beneficial practices that has graduated from taboo to acceptable is the fine art of pole dancing.  Many of the gentlemen’s clubs in my area have Amateur Night events, where anyone can climb up onto the stage and strut her stuff.  And pole dancing isn’t just for enticement anymore.  It has become a respected and very effective form of exercise.  Just about every middle-class suburb has (you guessed it!) pole-dancing exercise classes.  “Work your core while driving your hubby crazy”.  Sounds great to me!

Foxy’s Toybox offers dance poles that are made specifically for the home user.  This is got to be one of the best things yet.  Poles can be permanently mounted, or, some are even portable, allowing you to quickly and easily get them out of sight if you’re having “sensitive” company come over for dinner. 

Pole dancing can really spice up a relationship.  A couple spins and flips will make date night unforgettable.  You can purchase an entire “fantasy” kit, with pole, music cd, feathery boa, and play money.  Many times suggestive outfits can be worn to make the fantasy even more realistic.  Want realism?  Try adding club lighting to the night.  All you’ll need are some watered down drinks and overpriced valet service and you’ve got the whole package!

And, as an added bonus, the dance pole is the only piece of exercise equipment you can’t pile a bunch of clothes on when you’re too busy to work out. ;)

As a cautionary note, please, please, please, study a bit before getting acrobatic on a pole.  A twisted ankle or pulled muscle can really put a damper on playtime.  Instructional books are available.  And the books can also give you some great ideas for combining simple poses and dance steps.  You’ll look like a pro in no time!

Vibrating Panties

Say, what’s that muted buzzing you hear?  Just find the woman with beads of sweat on her brow and a far-off look in her eye.  Yeah, the one with the table cloth bunched up in her hand.  Yes, sir, it’s the age of the vibrating panties!  There are few things more exciting than the secret joy of vibrating panties, or as my friend Suzanne calls them, Shaky Britches.  It’s the ultimate “down-low” toy:  Calm on the outside, wild on the inside.

Many of us have a secret fantasy life.  I personally believe the vibrating panty is the perfect way to get that secret thrill we look for in a public place.  They are perfectly discreet, giving you anywhere from mild to intense pleasure, without the person next to you having the slightest clue as to what’s going on.  One cautionary note, though.  If you’re sitting on a wooden bench, everybody else on that bench will be in on your secret pretty quickly.  Of course, that could be a thrill, too.  You can watch them try to figure out who’s buzzing the bench.  Or see, who leaves and who stays… ooh, that sounds fun!

Foxy’s Toybox offers an impressive line of vibrating panties.  Whether you want something discrete to add a little hum to your evening, or a remote control option to give your partner some say in the play.  Vibrating panties usually come with a panty made with a pocket to hold the massager.  But now days, there are options that include magnetic vibrators that attach to any garment, or strapless “thong” type panties that actually hug the crotch and hold themselves up.

As far as remote controlled vibrators go, most work up to 10 or 15 feet away.  There’s nothing like giving the remote to your partner and letting him/her control what you get and when you get it.  Like just as the waiter comes up to take your dinner order, or on the dance floor, or while the valet is helping you out of the car.  The surprises are endless.

Club Vibe2.0

My favorite remote is the ClubVibe 2.0 by OhMiBod.  Not only is it remotely controlled with five different vibration patterns, but the remote has a microphone built in.  It can be set to pulse to the dance music.  Now that’s feeling the beat!  But, best of all, it can also be actuated by your partner’s voice if you’re in a quiet enough room.  Imagine your man telling you to squirm… and you have no choice.

It’s important to note the size before ordering.  Some panties are, of course, small, medium, large, or extra-large.  Many are stretchable, to accommodate a range of sizes.  There is even a strapless thong for larger women.

One good thing about all vibrating panties is this, you can remove the device before tossing the panty into the wash.  After all, if they do their job right, you will need to wash the panties (wink).  And please, please, remember to get a good toy cleaner to keep your massager fresh and pleasant.  

Ben Wa and Kegel Balls

The origin of Ben Wa balls is shrouded in mystery, lies and hyperbole.  Ok, that’s a bit harsh, but the truth is, their origin is more speculation than fact.  They were definitely developed in the Orient, and some say near the Ming dynasty period, possibly in the 15^th century.  They were originally used as a single ball, inserted into the vagina, to enhance the man’s pleasure during sex.  It is believed that the first Ben Wa balls were repurposed Bauding balls.  But, again, there is no evidence to support this claim.

 Women, of course, figured out pretty quickly how good these little gems felt rolling around in their vaginas, and started using them for their own pleasure and sexual enhancement.  Many Ben Wa balls come in decorative, pillowed boxes, and can be purchased in different sizes, depending on the skill level of the user.  Larger balls for the novice user, and smaller balls for those who have developed their pelvic floor muscles.  The smaller the balls, of course, the more effort it takes to keep them in.

Ben Wa balls can be miskaken for Bauding balls, and vice versa.  Bauding exercise balls are hollow spheres with a weighted ball and chime inside.  The two balls are held in one hand and rotated around each other, building hand strength, dexterity, whereas Ben Wa balls are often solid and weighted.  The balls are often used in physical therapy after an accident or injury.  The repetitive motion and pleasant sound of the chimes also relieves stress.  In recent years, a string or chain has been added to aid in the retrieval of the balls.  These are often referred to as Kegel balls.

Kegel Exercise Cross-Section

Kegel balls are named after gynecologist, Arnold Kegel, who invented the Kegel perineometer (to measure the strength of pelvic floor muscles.  Dr. Kegel spent a lot of time researching female genital prolapse and urinary stress incontinence at USC, and developed a series of exercised designed to strengthen women’s’ pelvic floor muscles, thus alleviating these conditions.  He published his findings in 1948, and it wasn’ t long after that people started using the balls along with Dr. Kegel’s exercise program.

Kegel exercisers can also be found in barbell form, electro-stimulators, vibrating balls, lighted, glow-in-the-dark, and a staggering variety of sizes and colors. 

 2011 saw a national run on Ben Wa / Kegal balls when they were brought to the spotlight through the hit novel series, “Fifty Shades of Grey”.  Fortunately, manufacturers across the globe have retooled their production facilities, added staff and shifts and are manufacturing balls at an impressive rate.  “Fifty Shades” is scheduled to release a movie version of the books in summer 2013.  And as more and more of mainstream America is introduced to these magical spheres, I predict another shortage.

 Ben Wa and/or Kegel balls, like any other item inserted into the vagina, must be kept clean.  Always use a quality toy cleaner before and after use.  And don’t forget a nice lubricant.  For added sensation, try a warming or cooling lube, found here at Foxy’s Toybox.  Also, please, check what material your balls are made of.  Many plastics and rubbers do not play well with silicone lubricants.  You may want to stick to water-based and (my personal favorite) gel lubes.

PLEASURE TAPE

Many people start squirming uncomfortably when the word “bondage” is thrown into a conversation. Of course, others start squirming for much more sensual reasons when the word “bondage” is mentioned. But we don’t need to explain too much about that here.

The truth is, there are tons of us out there who are open to exploration during their play time, but don’t know where to start, or what toys to experiment with. Many people turn to the ol’ tried and true duct tape. Then, when attempting to free their partner from the tape, they find the adhesive has a mind of its own. This has a way of mitigating the bondage experience. And possibly turning someone away from it for good.


One of the most versatile pleasure play items in the bondage family is tape, or as many call it, Pleasure Tape. Pleasure tape is made of self-sticking vinyl. What does that mean? Well, well, it means that you can play all you want and never have to worry about icky adhesives sticking to your clothes and skin and pulling all the hairs out of your arms. It only sticks to itself, not you. And it’s an inexpensive entry point for beginners exploring bondage for the first time.

What can you do with pleasure tape? Many will bind hands or feet. Some will wrap their partner all the way up to the elbows. The wrists and ankles can be tied to bedposts, wrist to ankle, arm to thigh, or any configuration you can dream up. The options are countless. Pleasure tape can also be wrapped around your partner’s body and be used as costume clothing.

Many people will incorporate blindfolds into their tape play. Others will bring riding crops or feather play into the arena, also. Vinyl pleasure tape can be unwound, cleaned and used again in your next play session; making it a better value than single-use adhesive tape.

It is always important to play responsibly. One should always have a safe word established with your play partner. A word or phrase that means “stop now”. Many will say something like “Peanut Butter” or “Door Knob”. Something that is easily recognized and not likely used during sex play. While participating in bondage play, one should always be aware of binding too tightly and cutting off your partner’s circulation. Check often while tying, to make sure the skin doesn’t bulge between strips of tape. Lay the tape flat and don’t let it twist. Check for fingers and toes turning white or growing cold. Ask your partner often if they’re comfortable, experiencing any tingling or pinching. If so, stop, unwrap, and start again with a looser wrap. Always leave your partner with some way to communicate with you. Another key safety practice is to have blunt-nosed safety scissors nearby in case your partner needs to be released quickly.


Pleasure tape has found a home in the Piercing world, also. It works perfectly as a stretching aid. While many have traditionally used electrical tape for stretching, the adhesive in the tape often causes irritation, swelling and can lead to nasty infections. Vinyl pleasure tape, on the other hand, is perfectly safe. Just wrap a layer or two around your plug, add just a touch of petroleum jelly for lubrication, and slip right into the ear hole being stretched. Pleasure tape will never cause irritation.